Kill 'em With Kindness

A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve. Joseph Joubert And in this I have failed. A very sad, very angry person has just left my life and, while I feel great relief, I also feel very sorry that I could not be a bigger, better person and continue to show kindness to someone who clearly lacks it in her own life. I gave up on her, which means I also gave up on a little part of myself...the part which believes that most people are pretty good and don't mean to cause anguish to others. This person has a long list of people she considers foes and it seemed I was amongst them. At the top of the list, actually. And, yes, I saw an actual list. This has been a very trying time for many of us (I'm just one of tens) who had to deal with her and now, finally, we are enjoying the freedom of breathing...walking on mere ground instead of eggshells...laughing...having healthy, appropriate conversation without wondering how our words will be twisted and made ugly... And the vow to never subject ourselves to the bullying of one unhappy person again...we acted like sheep and it came to no good end. Yet, along with my relief, I feel guilt. I followed HER lead and built defenses against her instead of just being well, who I am-a sociable, fairly happy, not so bad person. It's also made me realize how lucky and grateful I am to have such fantastic friends. I see that not everyone has those bonds, those supports and perhaps that lack of friendships is a contributing factor for someone's inability to deal with people in a positive, healthy way. I wish this person well. I wish her health and happiness and many, many years of true contentment. And that, it seems, is all I can do...let go with kindness. It may be too late for our relationship but it's the right thing to do.

Sea Glass, Sand Dollars and Scaling SeaWalls

Getting down to the beach (no small feat in itself) this morning was a great way to start off a Monday. We parked, then had to climb down an embankment to a sea wall which is where the boardwalk USED to be. From there, it's about 20 feet to the sand, and in order to get there one must maneuver/descend/butt-crawl down the boulders which function as a barrier to keep the sand on the beach. We made it to the seawall then saw a police car coming toward us. Fully expecting to be reprimanded (yet again)we felt defeated before we even hit the beach. Cop must have been busy because he went right on by (though, with a 10 foot drop from the roadway to the seawall he may not have even seen us). "That's right, Copper, you'll never take us alive...we got a haul of seaglass to pick up and no uniform's gonna stand in our way...see..." It's so amazing to me how, even with the crazy churning violent sea so many little jewels wash up perfectlly intact. Sand dollars, for instance. It's such a marvel that they can be tossed about, battered and smashed in the surf yet make it to the shoreline whole. That Sandy was a flat out bitch, but she did leave a bounty of beauty in her wake...

Beauty after the storm...it's a small comfort, but I'll take it.

Dog Days

Good thing she's pretty...

OK, I have a problem...and her name is Maisy. When I was going through a rough time, a bit over a year and a half ago, I got the brilliant idea to get a dog. So...off to the SPCA we went and came home with...Maisy. 8 weeks old, utterly adorable, a rescue from Puerto Rico. She was high energy right from the get go. And that has only increased exponentially with her age and growth. Problem: She's an escape artist. Not often, but when she does, it causes HAVOC. We live on a street in a fairly rough part of town. The speed limit is 25 but most cars zoom past at 40 and above. My kids could never ride their bikes around or even walk around the block...when we moved in, the house two down from us was, um, a very entrepreneurial independent pharmacy. AKA Crackhouse. They were great neighbors, very friendly, prone to barbecuing on their front yard and were they ever popular. Day and night there would be a steady stream of customers. They've since moved out but the neighborhood in general is still a bit rough. So when Maisy goes on a crime spree and runs around like a maniac, it's only a matter of time before she gets creamed by a car. She responds to NOTHING when she gets out...no treat, cajole, sweet voiced calling, nothing can get her to come to me except other dogs. Today it was a really nice guy and his son who actually brought their dog out to lure her into captivity. But there isn't always a bait dog to be had. SO...my question is: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!!!??? I seriously could have killed her today, out of frustration and rage. To cap off this charming behavior, she also refuses to walk home from wherever we capture her, so picture this: Me, stooped over grabbing her collar with one hand and her scruff with the other, force march/dragging her through the neighborhood back to the home she finds so confining. Oh, also, during this perp walk, I am muttering, cursing and threatening like a MAD WOMAN. How no one has called the police on me yet is a miracle. They'd surely come with two nets...one for Maisy and one for me. Is there hope for us? I am ready to put out the word that we need to find her a home where she doesn't think escaping and playing chicken with produce trucks is just so damn fun. I just don't know what to do. Since getting her was my idea I am the one who will decide her fate...and after today, I'm thinking she should go live with a family who a. has high energy kids b. doesn't live on a busy street c. has a more secure fence than we do. She's very sweet, loves people and does well with other dogs. But maybe we're just not the people for her. She gets a LOT of outdoor time, so it's not like she's cooped up in the house all day. I am just at the end of my...leash.

Hurricane Sandy at the Jersey Shore

Hi BlogLand... We made it through the Superstorm with minimal property damage but have been a week withiut power. Trust me I am NOT complaining...our neighboring towns on the shore have been decimated and it's truly heartbreaking to see. Such a lesson in perspective...we are so tiny, so helpless against such a raging force. Hard to believe humans have wrought so much damage on earth when we are so easily reduced to helpless babes by her latest whim! I wish you all good things, kindly send a positive thought out to the people who Have lost so much in this massive storm.xoxo Please forgive awkward typing...my phone is a bit difficult to type on!

Hurricane Sandy, Sea Glass and Governor Blowhard

 It feels kind of like a quick 14 months since Irene threatened to blow us all away, but here we are again and this time it looks as if the threat is even greater.  Our home is almost one mile from the beach, so we're too close for comfort yet at least not right on the front line.  We're planning to stay through the storm, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.  Cross your fingers for everyone on the coast! It's an absolutely enormous storm, even if it's milder than predicted it will still affect so many people.
Our gentlemanly, eloquent Governor has been saying helpful things to us NJ residents such as, "don't be stupid".  Last time 'round it was "get the hell off the beaches".  Me thinks the Blowhard (Christie, not the hurricane) has been watching too much Jersey Shore.  We prefer to speak to each other in more refined ways here.  He turns my stomach.
In any case,  I'll be down on the beach as soon as it's safe-sea glass hunting away.  The one thing I look forward to with these storms is they churn up so many sea treasures.  Should be sea glass bonanza later this week!  Be safe!!!

Library Card Magic...

 

Isn't this great? And so true!  I've just begun "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green, based upon my 15 year old daughter's urging and rave review.  She said it's an emotional read, which she always loves...if a book doesn't have her emotionally drained by the ending, I swear she winds up disappointed.  What are you reading this week???

Staying In the Happy

Love this pic of SJP.  It just radiates "Hopefulness".  Yes, I was a Sex and the City junkie for years...spent quite the hours getting lost in the "lives" of 4 pretty, incredibly dressed, witty First-World Problem sufferers.  It was the ultimate escapism show and a cheap way to visit Manhattan constantly.  Looking at that photo makes me want to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge draped in tulle.  The Mister and I walked it a few months ago...strangely enough it was the first time for both of us.  It is impossible to describe the hugeness of it, how looking at every nut, bolt and wire gives a newfound respect for the hands that built it.  It is truly magnificent.  For a fantastic history of the Bridge and the players behind it (the Roeblings, Boss Tweed, etc.) pick up David McCullough's "The Great Bridge".  It's like discovering the politics behind a fairy tale or enchanted castle...

After a tumultuous, tough year in many ways, I've been feeling pretty good lately.  Things seem to be heading in a positive, healthy direction and I am very, very grateful.  The Mister and I have been working on some writing projects together and I'm excited about them. Need to up my "outdoor" time...haven't been hitting the boards nearly often enough or seaglass hunting lately, but one improvement I have made is to my diet.  Not solely for weight loss but to attempt to create more energy and more stable moods.  It hit me one day as I was at the store reaching for a frozen "diet" meal...here I am paying a premium for food which has been pre-cooked, de-flavored, added who knows what to and it was "Santa Fe Rice and Beans".  Ummm...I can make rice. And beans.  And make it healthier, cheaper and better.  That inspired me to put together a whole regimen of nutritionally dense, organic,  more healthful meals and snacks.  So I've been consistently eating the following foods: walnuts, Greek yogurt, black rice, quinoa, berries, squash, sweet potatoes, veggies, beans and tea.  There's been a slight uptick in energy...hoping it gives me even more as time goes on. Until then, I am trying to be mindful to "Stay in the Happy".  And wish you the same.

What's Your Story?

 

 

We all have a story to tell...what's yours?

Halloween Postcards and Printables

I love Halloween...such an escapist "holiday".  Here are some postcards, prints and even a last-minute Owl and Pussycat costume for your Halloween pleasure. 

 

 












Last minute "couple" costume...the Owl and the Pussycat-
 

October Happiness...

 

Copenhagen's Tivoli in October...must be so much fun.

Snuggly shawl...cozy yet polished.

A near-perfect fall uniform.

Love this color combo. And the lines.

"Moon Cakes"...for the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival.  I love the way they look, and who wouldn't love the name?  It has so many good connotations..."love you to the moon and back", "I'm over the moon"...and the simple, beautiful, classic "Good Night, Moon".  May your Autumn be filled with the comfort and warmth of a million moon cakes.

Now on to something lighter: shopping.

 


I realize how quickly the phrase becomes annoyingly overused, but damn I love fall!!! The change in temp feels  so good...humidity goes back to the depths of hell, the foliage is spectacular, the crowds here at the Shore disappear.  What's NOT to love??? To kick things off properly, I used a gift card from my parents (thank you!) and treated myself to two new pairs of boots.  I'm a pretty good (cheapskate) shopper, if I say so myself.  How good?  The lug sole boots are from Target. $44. While the double buckle pair are Jimmy Choos...$900. (!!!!!)  and the others are Vince which can be yours for a mere $398.  I ordered the Target pair during their BOGO event, which as of today is still going on.  Free shipping too. They're cute, comfortable and sturdy  ( I mean, I work in a library after all,  not as a sherpa guide)...and I wear them with everything...leggings, dresses, skirts...








 Brown riding style boots... Target-$39.99.  upert Sanderson $1,155. Tory Burch $640. Can you figure which are which?

Library Lady Tara's Funniest Books List...

Humor is, of course, completely subjective.  But the following books caused me to laugh aloud and/or spew a beverage while reading. They're not all new, but they are all available on Amazon. 

"In Me Own Words-The Autobiography of Bigfoot" Words and Pictures by Graham Roumieu.  We may not be able to be friends if you don't find this one funny.  Seriously. No, I mean it.

This one made me laugh a lot and cry a little.  Went a little loooong on the "growing up with kooky parents" thing, but more than made up for it.  Someone will have to explain what kind of saint her husband is...

 This one won't be for everyone, but I laughed so much while reading the first few chapters that I had to leave the room, as I was reading in the living room and the Mister was reading in the living room and I got scared that if I didn't take my cackling elsewhere he would get annoyed enough to maybe by mistake put a pillow on my face while I slept that night and kneel on it till the kickin' stopped. p.s. my mother bought this for me so if she tells you "she doesn't read smut", she's lying.  She thought it was as funny as I did, Andy Dick fake rape schtick and all.

Most anything Mr. Sedaris writes is funny...but when he turns the tables on you and gets down and dirty and emotionally deep, watch out.  If you ever have the chance to see him live, jump on it.  He's beyond delightful.  Also, if you write to him, you will most likely receive a beautiful handwritten response.  Crazy bastard doesn't have a computer.

No. 1 is "Coffee".  "Architecture", "Public Radio", "Knowing What's Best For Poor People", "Sarah Silverman" and "Natural Childbirth" are some of the other nuggets in this awesomely uncomfortable read. Try not to laugh.  I dare you.  Bring it to church if you think that would help.  It won't.  Especially if you're Presbyterian.

Speaking of the lovely Miss Silverman,
 
 Here she is.  Her book is everything you thought it would be.




Yes, it's a children's book.  I worked in the Children's Department at the library for more than five years.  I read a LOT of children's books.  Every 9 year old boy I know thinks it's funny too, so that's gotta count for something.



Hilarious.  That's the only reason I can think of as to why it's sold so well.  It not only didn't turn me on, I think it caused temporary frigidity.  It's a complete piece of shit, but if you can get your co-workers to read aloud from it, TOTALLY FUNNY!!! Bonus points if you can get someone in upper management to read the line, "He’s my very own Christian Grey flavor Popsicle."  Excuse me while I retch into my very own Christian Grey barf bag.