Kill 'em With Kindness
A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve. Joseph Joubert And in this I have failed. A very sad, very angry person has just left my life and, while I feel great relief, I also feel very sorry that I could not be a bigger, better person and continue to show kindness to someone who clearly lacks it in her own life. I gave up on her, which means I also gave up on a little part of myself...the part which believes that most people are pretty good and don't mean to cause anguish to others. This person has a long list of people she considers foes and it seemed I was amongst them. At the top of the list, actually. And, yes, I saw an actual list. This has been a very trying time for many of us (I'm just one of tens) who had to deal with her and now, finally, we are enjoying the freedom of breathing...walking on mere ground instead of eggshells...laughing...having healthy, appropriate conversation without wondering how our words will be twisted and made ugly... And the vow to never subject ourselves to the bullying of one unhappy person again...we acted like sheep and it came to no good end. Yet, along with my relief, I feel guilt. I followed HER lead and built defenses against her instead of just being well, who I am-a sociable, fairly happy, not so bad person. It's also made me realize how lucky and grateful I am to have such fantastic friends. I see that not everyone has those bonds, those supports and perhaps that lack of friendships is a contributing factor for someone's inability to deal with people in a positive, healthy way. I wish this person well. I wish her health and happiness and many, many years of true contentment. And that, it seems, is all I can do...let go with kindness. It may be too late for our relationship but it's the right thing to do.
Posted by Tara Sullivan