A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve. Joseph Joubert And in this I have failed. A very sad, very angry person has just left my life and, while I feel great relief, I also feel very sorry that I could not be a bigger, better person and continue to show kindness to someone who clearly lacks it in her own life. I gave up on her, which means I also gave up on a little part of myself...the part which believes that most people are pretty good and don't mean to cause anguish to others. This person has a long list of people she considers foes and it seemed I was amongst them. At the top of the list, actually. And, yes, I saw an actual list. This has been a very trying time for many of us (I'm just one of tens) who had to deal with her and now, finally, we are enjoying the freedom of breathing...walking on mere ground instead of eggshells...laughing...having healthy, appropriate conversation without wondering how our words will be twisted and made ugly... And the vow to never subject ourselves to the bullying of one unhappy person again...we acted like sheep and it came to no good end. Yet, along with my relief, I feel guilt. I followed HER lead and built defenses against her instead of just being well, who I am-a sociable, fairly happy, not so bad person. It's also made me realize how lucky and grateful I am to have such fantastic friends. I see that not everyone has those bonds, those supports and perhaps that lack of friendships is a contributing factor for someone's inability to deal with people in a positive, healthy way. I wish this person well. I wish her health and happiness and many, many years of true contentment. And that, it seems, is all I can do...let go with kindness. It may be too late for our relationship but it's the right thing to do.
Getting down to the beach (no small feat in itself) this morning was a great way to start off a Monday. We parked, then had to climb down an embankment to a sea wall which is where the boardwalk USED to be. From there, it's about 20 feet to the sand, and in order to get there one must maneuver/descend/butt-crawl down the boulders which function as a barrier to keep the sand on the beach. We made it to the seawall then saw a police car coming toward us. Fully expecting to be reprimanded (yet again)we felt defeated before we even hit the beach. Cop must have been busy because he went right on by (though, with a 10 foot drop from the roadway to the seawall he may not have even seen us). "That's right, Copper, you'll never take us alive...we got a haul of seaglass to pick up and no uniform's gonna stand in our way...see..." It's so amazing to me how, even with the crazy churning violent sea so many little jewels wash up perfectlly intact. Sand dollars, for instance. It's such a marvel that they can be tossed about, battered and smashed in the surf yet make it to the shoreline whole. That Sandy was a flat out bitch, but she did leave a bounty of beauty in her wake...
Good thing she's pretty...
Hi BlogLand... We made it through the Superstorm with minimal property damage but have been a week withiut power. Trust me I am NOT complaining...our neighboring towns on the shore have been decimated and it's truly heartbreaking to see. Such a lesson in perspective...we are so tiny, so helpless against such a raging force. Hard to believe humans have wrought so much damage on earth when we are so easily reduced to helpless babes by her latest whim! I wish you all good things, kindly send a positive thought out to the people who Have lost so much in this massive storm.xoxo Please forgive awkward typing...my phone is a bit difficult to type on!